Stains

Stains as described by Manjula Padmanabhan is a true to life depiction of the plight of a girl caught imbalanced between gender and race discrimination. How does the presence of a blotch at one place brings in differences- the short story continues to unravel. Barely away from the normal life scenarios- it has a befitting description of not just what every woman goes through but also describes the mentality of women being unflinchingly cruel to other womenfolk- just to make them feel, what they underwent in their hey days. The inability of men to understand the winds of change in their partner’s mood when PMSing and  there also is a subdued reference to their adjustment with the fact that women are definitely superior in this regard. While it is easier for people to comment that they change as per the requirment of the situation but highly difficult to embrace change in totality and live up to the changing expectations from all facets. Worth a read!!

Worth Calculating

Sometimes I wonder- have i overstayed my welcome? Have i  given it a bigger part and time of my life than required and was it worth it? When you see things diminishing in front of you and if you still stay there watching- isn’t that denigration of your own self? Should it be named as complacency or risk aversion? Either ways if the outcome is not good as it should have been- its time to revisit. If relationships are touching the baseline, when you start questioning your own intents and actions- its time up - for staying as a guest. It’s in fact a signal to go back to being a vagabond and try again the taste of life, firsthand and learn from its discoveries.



Pain - As experienced

Have we ever thought that pain would be sweet and I do not mean Orgasmic Pain. When do deadly throngs of pain become cakewalk to handle?  It is when you give into the pain and treat it as a living thing with a purpose- when you let it do its Karma defying what it brings to you. When we come to terms with idea of pain- it becomes easier to handle. It is then that you have actually conquered pain and made it your servant. Sometimes the pain is worth bearing for the fruit it brings. Pain is not malicious- it is just something which breaks free from shackles after long seize. If we decide to look at its structure we can definitely disarm pain with attention. Don’t resent it, just try to live with it and celebrate it- After all its all in our mind.

The Moment

Every event has a moment!!! But there are few which stay etched in our eyes, mind and soul. Let me make here a reference of the song “Choomantar”- one of my current favourites. Neither I am a Katrina fan nor of Irfan Khan but still this song never fails to leave behind its charm. The song itself presents a free spirited attitude, undaunted by the world and its vagaries. It denotes the- me craving for zero boundaries, running away from the eyes, living a world of my own dreams and finding an unpretentious me. Making friends with the journey and daring to live your “Aawara Fitarat” is worth cherishing. The idea of losing your own self on your own is the best. But all said and done - this single capture at the spur of time is divine. “Ruko Zara- dekhen to kya hai ye maajra- Sabhi tarah khwahishon se hai ye dil bhara”. Katrina is at its innocent best filled with the desire for life. That one click when the camera revolves around Katrina- takes you to panacea- making you believe in Love at First Sight, of deadly concoction. Leave aside Irfan, I am lost every time it see it.........

?????

Was one conversation enough to deter you from your aim and yearning? Was your desire so weak or your motive extremely ulterior to justify any action around the same or was it just about proving your point to meet the stakes? Not sure why you receded from the action- was it fear of unknown or failure or discovery of your own negativities- Was the carrot not fresh and sweet enough or public pressure too formidable to handle? But if the realisation of being wrong has dawned on you- better late than never. Do you think you have already lost what was very important to win?

At least future actions will now be well thought of and will not take back the baggage of repentance.

Double Standards

While many people claim to be acres away from hypocrisy- there are very few who actually live it. The biggest and most apt example is the treatment meted out to the females around. Its easy for people to talk about gender discrimination, of glass ceilings and of preventive measures- but do they practice what they preach? Talking filthy about a woman, making her an object of discussion- on account of her physical traits- isn’t that being unfair? Its easy to propagate something than doing it yourself. It just shows the lack of respect and is not just applicable to guys but also to girls. After all same standards should be applied to all.

Success

Success is always subjective and person dependant. We all resort to different ways to welcome successes. But what is one big success for me is being an indispensable part of someone else’s success. It is an honour to be able to become an essential ingredient of other’s aid to their dreams. And its not about making other realize your contribution, but you yourself experiencing the sweet pleasure of selflessness. It is another feat for me that my few people always run into me when they are dying- It is a compliment worth dying for. I can proudly tell the world- so what if my circle of influence is small- i still matter.

Its Different!!!

Today has been a very different day in my life- I have experienced all sorts of feelings and emotions in a day’s span. From a drowsy morning to a sunny day, some failures – some achievements. Life has represented full circle today. With me becoming someone’s saviour and reuniting with few, being more vocal about my own individuality and at the same time revelling in feeling of losing control- all i lived up. With happy moments showering in- i experienced the rush of Optive gel to strengthen the long lost feeling of achievement. Experiencing pangs of anxiety with fingers closed and forgetting to congratulate my mate for his victory just because i was myself experiencing it.

Thank God for giving me 10^th April 2012- one day to look back and smile.

Disclaimer- Buri nazar wale tera moonh kala J

Bowled Over

A very unexpected comment made by my bosom friend, made me feel different.

For the first time someone was blatant enough to tell me that I settled for something which is less than perfect as per my standards. And the reason behind - heart at this juncture was more powerful than my head- And I do agree. While in my own decisions – I have never ever settled for something that does not meet my standards- this one was what I fell in love with. It just attracted my core and made me yearn for it- and the malfunction never became a deterrent. The similarity of the natures, the association of the object with the person- made me just impulsively take this decision. What I was also made to realize was such an act is very normal for many people, unlike me and my friend was glad to notice this change.



Dr. Billy



This is probably when “Heart” takes over on “Strong Willed Souls J

Coloured Opinions

Just another example of what the world does- colour their opinion as per the judgement of others.

This is what is have seen and been through.

So what if you have known me for quite sometime now? You believed in the other’s judgement regardless of the fact that every person has his/her motives/interests/perceptions. What has struck me is the fact that your own opinions are so vulnerable to other’s fancies. Have you become doubtful of your own thinking OR faith posed by other- in his / her own judgement is stronger than your belief OR the differences were not important enough for you to decipher earlier.  Even a higher time of our association was denigrated in this regard.  Don’t know the answer but yes, all of a sudden if you are just behaving different from what you used to be- it could have been made smoother with a phased showcase. Your external locus of control has just got me thinking otherwise and brought me unexpected disappointment.

And I will continue to blabber my favourite quote “Don’t judge me, if you don’t know me”