Out in the Open

Indian women more than the men, undertake the responsibility of preserving their honour. Through their dressing or gestures they signal the same to the opposite sex at most times.

One recent observation brought me into thinking mode. This phenomenon is more prevalent amongst unmarried women, while the tendency reduces after marriage. What I am hinting at is deliberate and forced coverage of their assets especially when they are not married. Does post marriage bring to them freedom of all sorts? Does physical openness – open them to general society? The skin which had been hidden with beautiful attire can now be exposed without any qualms. The curves which were sneaked via effort become objects of public display especially when they step into motherhood. Does it go off because they have become someone’s private property or is this because there is nothing else left to hide? Weird thought but can’t help thinking about it.

Sarcastic Humour

Local language can be relished not just by the locales but also by some who get to hear it serendipitously. One recent conversation with a lady who has massaged my family’s skin to glow- is something which stills tickles me.

This is the era when public display of love has become common not just in affluent cities but also in suburbs and interiors of a state. One such moment in a movie when the notorious Emraan Hashmi was smooching the heroine, this lady happened to be my co- viewer. During the entire event of 2 minutes, she only saw some of it from her sneaky eyes and after the tense moments passed, her only comment in vernacular language was “ E to uska poora honth hi chabaa daar”, which left me in fits of laughter. All this extraversion has been infused in me by the city/ situation I live in. But this lady and her likes are still averse to all of this. Even talking about such intimate topics becomes a taboo. Her expression and her sneaky eyes do not fade from my memories- those aghast with the live show followed by some comments against the westernization of Indian culture.  True but it happens...

Diary Excerpt of a Fatherless Father

I have experienced life with most of its topsy turvy turns. Fathering is such a pleasure and solace to heart when you have never yourself had a chance to fit into your father’s shoes. I was born in a middle class family. My father, as I remember him in blemishes of my thoughts was a very endearing one. Catering to all the demands of his child till he became 6. All of a sudden world around shattered with the loving figure going into dungeons of other life.

Life started changing. Brought up by a mother who was only a 10^th class pass out- who sewed her way to feeding and educating the kids. Leave the rest, even continuation of study became taxing in deprived monetary condition. Toys, games, balloons stayed fantasies.

I have survived the agonies of life and have come far away at my own strength and footing. Now I am parent to one kid- a kid who chuckles seeing the colourful balloons and demands the fancy toys. I have no audacity to stop him from his demands whether reasonable or unreasonable. I want to make available all the toys/gifts at his feet. I don’t want him to slither in the pain of unfulfilled desires. All that I have gone through, all the externalities that i have faced- I don’t want my little one to feel even a iota of the same. I want to see the pleasure in his eyes, when he gets what he wanted. I can’t bear the image of tears welling in his eyes due to unmet demands.

I might be pampering him too much but then the price that I have paid for circumstances, which I had no control on-is not worth keeping him away from his miniscule happiness, till I am alive. After all what I have experienced- people might come and try to fill up places but then leaving an unbiased and equal impression is hard to find.

The Dilemma

Feminism is not just a state of mind – to me it means woman empowerment. It means a chance to show the world on the face that woman can march shoulder to shoulder.

But caught in the midst is a girl who is too confident of herself and her ability to take the world in a storm. A world full of male friends with few splashes of womanhood. The girl enjoys the company of male friends in whom she finds the capable and the restless but when in a group of females- finds herself out of place. The talks are to girly to digest- the culinary gossips she can’t bear. On one hand is the acknowledgement of being a woman but is it easy maintain the veil for the society.

The happiness is very visible when women reservation is reduced and also when taxable limit of boys and girls is brought to an equal- This is all against the general protocols.  Another dichotomy happens when the girl exercises her choice in a boy gang to booze and fag but when with the fair side of society- she has to wilfully abstain because females might perceive her otherwise. Cars and racing excite her but reverse parking is still a nightmare

Difficult but true-the girl is fighting her own battle without knowing how to go with the flow.

Vicissitudes of life

Affluence is what everyone strives for- even though the means may be different and limited. When we are in the process of preparing ourselves for life- going to malls and other places of grandeur, feels good- because our eyes twinkle with the thoughts of future filled with money and capability to purchase whatever desired.  But reality strikes in when you start earning. It’s another vicious circle- desires never end. Wants convert into needs. Luxury becomes a habit. What else is intriguing is malls then don’t give you the same pleasure- it is not just the law of marginal utility but not being able to purchase the high end extravagances. Visit to such places make you more cognizant of the fact that current earnings can’t meet your requirements. Even though you may be giving the best input in all your endeavours, best of things still are out of reach. It fills you with gloom. It is then when you realise simplicity and contentment should be the virtue of life- But can we achieve this- Not sure again???

Jealousy- Woman is not the only synonym

Trizz is what they call it- Trying my hands on a different medium of literary eloquence. Mr. Strategist- do let me know- how I fare in my first attemptJ

I am always trampled under your feet, when at home. They get beautiful shelves- my shelf life has come to an end.  They get better packaging and maintenance- what about me- thrown in any corner. Just like you, even i enjoy outdoors- why have you restricted my presence to the four walls of your home.  I feel atrocious when I see others adding that extra touch to your beauty- what about all the services that I give you even in dearth and dirt. I know I am not to be admired because of the way i look, my make and cost but do give me the what I deserve- respect for my services to you.

Yours,

Ghar Ki Chappal

Femme Fatale- The respite

Had heard of a saying “A woman is a woman’s best friend” though had never believed in it. Instead gave paramount importance to the woman’s vengeance over her fidelity. While earlier might be the case in competition or cases of common craving but latter sounds well tried in relationship of confidence and trust. However, witnessed the same in my relatively recent relationships. The comfort which they bring to you, the ability to empathize with their thoughts and understanding the pain and going through the same is the crux.  Friendship with guys even though enriching and different, lacks in this regard- when it comes to understanding your problem like you.

After all grandma’s “hidaayat” is well tried and holds true even it today’s changed times. Even a scientific research claims that woman don’t look for a solution but only an open ear to their woes as against men who are ready with ample advice and solutions. This realisation even though late- has come in for all the good realism and bringing to light the contribution of the femme fatale. Cheers!!!