Boredom

 How do you define boredom? It refers to a state of mind wherein the interest levels for a particular subject are low. It is defined a psyche when the thing in consideration does not interest you anymore. Boredom is linked to one specific thing at one point of time.When do we get bored? When the subject has overrun its use or it can’t enchant us anymore. These are the specific and hackneyed reasons. This also happens when there is a new liking which is more enamouring than the previous one.

Some people can live with the same thing for long, some can thrive in complacency but there are few weird animals for whom change is imperative- desirable or not. They can’t thrive with the same thing/event/person for long. How would we describe their state of mind? Is their mind so frivolous/ vulnerable that even small changes can pull them away from the important stuff? Or is it a temporary infatuation which pulls them out?

In this dynamic world of today- it is good to be adaptable to change and look forward to change but is it desirable to be continuously looking for change when 1 change in you is linked to plenty others? Just because you don’t like the idea of being in the vicinity of something or have worn out its charm- you start looking for greener pastures outside. This might be easy when inanimate objects are concerned but is it doable when it comes to personal life? Aren’t too many things on stake? Some of us need to watch out...

Disillusioned!!!

I have never ever been like this before. I have always been a strong headed and extremely focused one. High on self confidence and clear about my own actions. 

Don’t know what has happened? Disillusioned with so many things running on my mind. Not clear as to what i want and what i want to do. Losing my patience and calm demeanour at all times. I have never been a supporter of the “Forest Gump” but this is what is happening to me unwillingly. Every time i quiz myself with questions- without being able to put my finger on the right answers. Is it because i fear fathoming and envisaging the future for myself or is it sheer indifference? The effort at bringing entropy within is only bringing self doubt and self relegation- not helping at all. Not sure what to do and whom to believe. Is there a conflict which is limiting me or is it that i am not able to look at things as they are? While there are people who are helping me out in carving out my real self which is rusted and dusted, i still need to reclaim myself. May be i need help or may be just a break from the mundane. And i am still not sure about it.

I hate being the different personality altogether...

God Send

What would you call a linkage which is held strong in times of difficulties but discontinued in times of happiness. I make reference to a song by Jay Sean which talks of the woman helping out the guy in rocky times but leaves him when the storm has passed away. Don’t you think this is another way of nature providing support to people. We all are never stranded alone in any problem- there is one person or other at all times to lend us the helping hand and shoulder. The person might be known/unknown/new/old but still we find each other out. Not necessary we are balancing out anything but still the requisite support comes at the right time. Only different thing is the continuation of such support even after things have settled. It becomes a pain when we get addicted to support from the person and expect his/her presence always. These are the nuances of human nature. Life is nothing but difficult to understand in all such circumstances.

The different phase

“I do not know how to describe you”

Sometimes you are a distant stranger appearing indifferent and there are times when your warmth overwhelms me with sunshine. Your domination tames me and at some time your meekness pulls me towards you. Your unhurt Machiavellianism inspires me but your vulnerability makes me believe in my own ability to heal you. You are concerned at one point of time but concerning at some other. Your pernicketiness kills me but also brings you closer to me. You protect me and also threadbare my weakness. Why the dual role that you continue to play pricks me and titillates me at the same time? While i know i am falling for you- i still try to prove indifferent...

Why????????????

// Disclaimer- I believe this disclaimer is important because i have already started receiving questions - if this is my state of mind. What i have written above is a reflection of thoughts of my old friend who was going through such a phase. Don't let your imaginations run bizarre please.........

Smile- An Everlasting Smile

Lots has been said and written about the first best thing that you can do with your lips. While the world has different views – I have always believed that Smile is costly, even though it costs nothing. It should not be used very often- otherwise the price of it is not well understood. Even your happy moments will become a part of everyday life. The world at large respects and vies only for those things which are scarce and not easily available. I myself die for seeing some special people smile- It drifts you away to panacea. One beautiful smile can make you go bleak in your knees.  I have always viewed an ever smiling person as one who carries lots of troubles inside henceforth hiding under the veil of smile. Smile should not be confused with a smiling demeanour- while such a face is very pleasant to look at- there is not much that it generates within.  Your smile should ornate only those people’s lives, who love to see you as you are!!!

The Virtual World

With life turning global and world taking a virtual turn- even possessions have become virtual. A recently made comment by my teacher- got me thinking. Though i did not believe it much at that point of time but similar conversation with a dear friend – brought out similar belief. These days we are used to buying/ purchasing things online. Have we ever thought that we still do not own the purchased product- we merely buy its usage? Whether it is books, music, products. As a result we end up paying money for its lease without becoming physical owners of the same.  Some people might not view it faulty but i do. Why because- when we pay for ownership we tend to become more concerned and look for deriving ultimate value for our money, also because the thing is going to stay with us. A thing which is leased out is only for a certain purpose and usage and that too for a fixed point of time- hence its utility diminishes. We treat it likewise. The pleasure that you get by owning your own book/cd can never ever be compensated by the downloads and online stuff.

Just for You

I am amazed at how selfless people can be. On one hand it amazes me but on the other i think is it worth it? For some people it is indeed worth it because for them it is other’s happiness which counts. Even their small moments of happiness are linked with others happiness. When asked for what they want- the dreams are also linked to other person. It is so difficult to get into the mode of being selfless. And when i write about this-i am not making any mention of those in relationships- who go out of the way for their partners. There are some relations beyond, and they bloom and thrive only on other’s happiness. Though the percentage of such people is very less but still everyone of us at some point or other becomes selfless for another.

Discussionsssssssss

I am utterly surprised at what can become a topic of discussion.

My caller tunes and the frequent changes in them have caused a spur in the minds and hearts of people and acquaintances. I did not mention friends because they know me well and my moods.

I also wonder how good is God at scheduling things and events at opportune time. My current caller tune is just a song that i love but what happened the other day- made it look unlike serendipity. The song starts with a word that was once i was baptized with. Lots of poems and shayaris he wrote tying the same word in different forms. After having not spoken to him for approx 2 years- why did the surprise call come only at this point of time. Without leaving room for any thought- the only question was “Are you missing me?” I could only smile at this expected question...

People have guts and have openly come and asked if it is directed to someone or am i subtly hinting at something. There have been people who have got my caller tune as one way of hitting a conversation. Few also checked for my levels of desperation.

I sometimes wonder – do we have so much time to get a sneak peek of other’s life or is this a good and easy entertainment. Sometimes just not associating and living in it will be more beautiful than lending meaning. Ain’t it?

Trivia Matters... or Triviality Does?

Being pernickety is good but till the extent it does not touch triviality. These are 2 similar words with polar differences. People get become trivial paying importance to trivia and the ultimate outcome is useless . While paying attention to details is good to understand a person’s idiosyncracies but making use of his/her individualities against him/her is becoming trivial. Money is important in any sort of relationship but making money an underpinning builds nothing but triviality. Knowing about a person’s life is trivia but poking nose becomes trivial. While trivia allows you to enjoy a place, triviality only provides possession with feelings. Not referring to the vast anomalies of life in terms of status, anyone from any part of the society has their own limits of trivia and triviality. Both of these are very subjective terms and difficult to be brought under the same scanner.

The tune of life

Releasing herewith another hidden interest of my life. What came out as a glitch became a happy story with receipt of a gift from a beloved friend. One at the top is what i had envisioned and  one below is what is was gifted with.... I am sure second one is better :)

Thanks Victory!!!

What goes around comes around

Life is a vicious circle and the cycle repeats itself. The reverberation of previous incidents rock the present and the instances are plenty. Deja vu is a totally different concept in comparison to the viciousness. It is a sense of being there, done that- that is retrospective whereas “This” phenomena talks about experiences repeating themselves at some point of time. You start reliving those old moments. Your deeds come back to you and you payoff what you were indebted to. The events become full circle with you clearing off all your dues to whom you have been miscreants. Such is the destiny- bringing to you what you did. Rebirth is yet another illustrious example to depict your past karmas and repentance. We may choose to believe or not but destiny makes us believe in serendipity. Every person we meet was linked to us previously in one way or another and we all bring to equivalence our booked trades.

Corporate World

Where has the charm and magnetism of the person gone? Gone are the days when big smile used to fill the face. Its only dull and uninspiring eyes hollowed by black circles, which remain. What has happened-has the morass of corporate world killed the fire or is it that other issues are so distressing that life seems to go nowhere? The fear of losing identity- has it impacted the life in such a big way? Has the locus of control become external that any intruder can play its strings to match to their own rhythm? There has never been so much insufficiency and insecurity about their own selves?

This is what most of my peers emulate? If this is what you go through- why not look for self sustaining pastures?

 

The Hard Realisation

There are very few movies with whose characters I have been able to associate myself. Recent investment of 2 hours into a movie quizzed me as I found a 30% portrayal of my own self. It was an eye opener for me seeing some intricacies of my own life come to life. I have actually started thinking on a different platform altogether. Being my own self – I have loved to experiment with various forms of life- trying my hands on various stuff as and when they come up. Is it an attempt to know plenty or is it giving activities and my personal interests, a priority over better things in life? Is an attempt to keep myself engaged and enriched - a camouflage to fill up the void? Have they been modest enough to let me chase my dreams while keeping their wishes aside? Have I undermined the presence of few important people in my life? Have I taken them for granted? Have I become indifferent to their needs? Inspite of the fact that they are the ones who have always stood by my side.

Dhakkan- I am glad that you got me watching this movie. On a subconscious level- it has definitely struck me.  

The Inexplicable

Sometimes I just marvel at what communication does to us. But only when the inexplicable is understood- it is the zenith of communication. While it is easy to understand what has been said- why can’t people understand what is unsaid. Just a little bit of understanding of the nature of the person and of his or her needs - can take relationships to next level. The nuances of one’s own personality and their idiosyncrasies are not a cakewalk to understand but little attempt to know the person’s intent can do wonders. There are times when we just wish to overlook the obvious- to avoid getting involved with the person but that actually takes them away. You could have made the person feel better just by recognizing his desires but no you are too deaf to hear what’s on other’s mind.